Doing things that scare me

I was talking with my therapist the other day that I felt scared when doing new things so I usually avoid doing it because of the anxious feeling I get. She said that if it only causes me mild discomfort, I should still do it but if I genuinely am terrified, maybe lay off that for a while.

An example of mild discomfort for me is going to a circuit training session for the first time yesterday. It is at the lgbt centre where I usually go for monthly meetings so I know how to get there and I knew I would know people there. It turned out there was only one person I already knew and three other people I didn’t. But for some reason I was anxious almost all day about going.

I was mostly nervous about getting the train on time which meant I got to the train station like 20 minutes early. I ended up sitting in my car for a while playing a game on my phone. That was fine but it seems silly when I think about it now.

I had to drive to the train station too because my mum couldn’t drive me. It wasn’t very far and I wasn’t too nervous about that. But I stalled a lot and ended up making a queue behind me and a queue on the street I was trying to turn onto. This woman wanted to let me past so she had stopped too… I started crying after I had finally got the car going. I haven’t really driven in a couple of weeks so I needed to get used to using enough gas when starting up. I was really embarrassed and anxious because I hate making people wait or making them annoyed. In general, I just care too much about what people think.

But at least I did it and next time I drive to the station, I will hopefully improve and remember what to do and I won’t stall.

But I’m kinda proud of myself that I did all that because it scared me. I knew I would enjoy the session and that I want to get fitter because I don’t really exercise all that much, but a part of me didn’t want to go. I know that was the anxiety talking so I’m happy that I beat it and I know that next week, I won’t be anxious because I already know how everything will work out.

Have you done anything that has scared you recently?

Ellis

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